


Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

by tisfan



Series: Open Ask Prompts [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Puns, Bad date, Baseball, First Kiss, Kiss cam, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisfan/pseuds/tisfan
Summary: themxchanic asked:So there's this story that happened where this girl goes on a date with her boyfriend to a baseball game. The kiss cam pans over them and the girl gets really excited but the boyfriend is too preoccupied with his phone. So she kisses the guy next to him instead. I had an idea with one of my partners where Tony is the girl, Ty (or whoever) is the douche boyfriend, and Bucky is the guy sitting next to her. They of course exchange numbers in the end.





	Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

God, baseball was sooo boring.

Only in baseball was it impossible for more than one team to score. They took fucking turns like it was pre-school and they were in line to use the teeter totters. The closest thing Tony’d ever seen to excitement at a baseball game was the time Howard took him and drank so much cheap beer that he ended up puking in a trash can on the way out of the stadium. That had almost been worth the sprained wrist when Howard shoved him out of the way. Almost.

The worst part of it was, Ty didn’t even like it. Not really. Or, if he did, maybe he’d be paying more attention to the game than to his fucking phone.

Tony had already gotten up three times; once to get himself a beer and a hotdog (and he’d probably regret that hotdog later), once to use the bathroom, and once because the giant jumbotrons had advertised deep fried oreos, and Tony had to try one. He was definitely going to regret that. Good, though.

Ty hadn’t looked away from his phone the whole goddamn game. Really, the score could be five hundred to seven and Ty would say “that’s nice” or “uh-huh” without looking up. What the hell was so goddamn interesting over there?

Tony knew better than to try to look, though. Ty did not like what he considered an invasion of his privacy.

The guy on the other side was kinda cute, though, so Tony turned away and watched that guy watching the game.

Brunette, with a ragged haircut, half of his hair pulled back in a half-ponytail, he wore a red henley shirt and a brown jacket. He had a baseball cap with the team logo on it, but it fell off his head almost every time he stood up to yell and scream, and since the man was constantly jumping to his feet, the hat was on the ground more often than it was on his head. He jumped up to yell about strikes, about good pitches, about runs, about stolen bases.

When a batter made a lousy groundball, the man surged to his feet again and yelled, “Go, Babushka power!”

Tony couldn’t help it, he cracked up. “Go go grandmothers!”

The guy turned around and grinned. “You speak Russian?”

Tony wiggled his hand, _comme ci, comme ça_. “Understand it better than I can speak it. My tutor claims my accent stinks on ice.”

“A common complaint of tutors,” the man responded. He paused, leaned forward in his chair. “Go on, you little shit, steal that base, I fuckin’ _dare_ you.”

“You’re awfully invested,” Tony observed.

“Got a hot hundred riding on the outcome of the game,” the guy said. “And Baltimore _sucks_.”

“If you say so,” Tony said. He flicked his eyes to the scoreboard; he really hadn’t been paying attention to the game. Orioles were up a run and they were still at bat. “Looks like they might not suck as hard as you think.”

Tony was studied the board, doing statistical analysis in his head. If current trends could predict future outcome, he was going to give Baltimore a 72.952% chance of winning the game, probably by two runs. He did not share this information with his neighbor. That just seemed rude.

The inning ended without the Orioles scoring another run, so that was encouraging. Tony readjusted his prediction. He thought about sharing his thoughts with Ty, but another glance at his boyfriend showed that would be a bad plan. Ty was now scowling at his phone, as if something had upset him. Tony knew better than to interrupt him now. He leaned toward his neighbor again. “You think they’ve got an upset in the making?”

“They’re warming up the bullpen,” the man said, jerking his chin toward the Yankee bullpen. “New pitcher’ll shake things up.”

Tony squinted. “Do you know who it is?” That could definitely change his predictions. He pulled out his program and flipped to the roster.

“Do you care?” the man asked, friendly, not hostile. “You haven’t been paying attention til just now.”

“It’s more interesting when someone else is interested,” Tony said. “I’m Tony, by the way.”

“Bucky,” the man said, then rattled off the new pitcher’s name and jersey number. He leaned over Tony’s arm and tapped the program.

Tony scrolled down.

“Oh, hey,” Bucky said, nudging him. “You’re on the kiss-cam.”

What?

Tony looked up. The camera, with little hearts and lip-prints in a frame, was centered on Bucky and him. Huh. Well, maybe they looked like a couple, huddled over the program like they’d been. Sigh. He turned and tapped Ty on the shoulder.

“Honey?”

Ty swatted at his hand and the whole crowd made a disapproving noise. “Not now, Tone.”

“Ty,” Tony tried again. Ty would be so pissed if --

“I said, knock it off,” Ty said, turning around and poking his phone.

“ _Mu'dak,”_ Bucky muttered under his breath. _Asshole._ Tony didn’t exactly disagree. He’d been dating Tiberius Stone for almost three months, but he was starting to get the feeling that it wouldn’t be going on much longer. If he wasn’t wrong, Ty was probably texting with his side-boy anyway. Tony kept trying to ignore that (first of all, that he knew about it and Ty kept acting like Tony didn’t, because Ty had very little respect for Tony’s intelligence, which was just annoying, and secondly, because it was insulting. Tony was very good sex and a very attentive boyfriend and it was painful to be ignored and neglected.)

Tony sighed and settled back in his chair, but the kiss-cam didn’t move. Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Hey, I’ll kiss you, if he won’t,” Bucky offered, then blushed absolutely, gloriously red at his own gumption.

Tony blinked, then leaned over, his mouth already puckering.

Tony had meant it to be a joke kiss, a quick smack on the mouth, enough to get the camera to go bother someone else. Stick it to Ty, maybe, for ignoring Tony all night.

But when Bucky’s mouth touched his, Tony’s intentions went up in flames. Just like the rest of him. Tony found himself with his hands in Bucky’s hair, the man’s tongue sliding over his lip. The feel of his mouth was electric, shockingly erotic. His jeans got a little tighter than was truly comfortable and he was half a second from climbing into the man’s lap when someone grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked, nearly choking him.

“Tony!”

“Hey, let go of ‘im,” Bucky said, standing up. “You’re hurting him.”

“He’s --” Ty gestured like he couldn’t believe the utter gall. “Kissing someone else, right in front of me!”

“You had your chance,” Bucky snapped. “If you paid more attention to your man rather than you’re fuckin’ phone --”

“Boys, boys,” Tony hissed, putting his hands up to separate them. “It’s sweet that you both want to take me to prom, but can I point out that we’re on the goddamn _camera_?” Still. What the hell, had someone fallen asleep up there? _Jesus Christ._

“You know what?” Ty said, brushing off his shirt. “You keep him. He’s boring. And worthless. And he gives _terrible_ blowjobs.”

Tony gaped at him. “That --”

“Face it, Tony, you suck worse than the Cubs.”

Tony didn’t know enough about baseball to really understand that, but the way Bucky sucked air, Tony was willing to believe he’d just been burned. “That’s a lie.” He turned to Bucky and repeated, very seriously, “That is a _lie_.”

“I’m outta here,” Ty said. He turned and strode off, all indignant fury.

“Don’t forget your phone,” Bucky mocked.

Tony slowly sank into the seat. What the _hell_ had just happened?

“You do not need that kind of asshole in your life,” Bucky said, a little tentative. “But… um, sorry for ruining your date?”

“Nah,” Tony said. “I think it was already ruined. I just…”

“Make it up to you?” Bucky offered.

Tony slanted a glance at the man. “How?”

“Dinner? Dancing? You don’t seem t’ like baseball much, so, you know, another game is probably out.”

Tony looked over at the JumboTron again. “I dunno, I could get used to it.” He might grow to have fond memories of that kiss-cam. “Sure. A date, then.”

Bucky grinned. “I’ll try not to strike out.”

Oh, _god_. Puns… Tony was in love already. “Maybe, if you’re _really_ good, I’ll let you get to second base.”

“I got a pretty good line coach,” Bucky said. “He might help me steal third.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “I call foul. That was terrible. Really, really terrible.”

But when Bucky did steal a kiss, after walking Tony out to the train, Tony thought third base wasn’t entirely out of reach.

After the first date.


End file.
